Do I Need My Anxiety?
Anxiety can be overwhelming, exhausting, and, for many, something they desperately wish they could switch off. But for some, even though they want relief, a part of them still clings to it. Why is that?
One of the brain’s primary jobs is to keep us safe, and safety often takes precedence over happiness. Before making any change with a client, I always check for internal objections to letting go of distress. If a part of them is still holding onto it, no matter how effective a therapeutic approach may be, the changes will likely be short-lived. Addressing these underlying beliefs is essential for making change that lasts.
Common Reasons People Hold Onto Anxiety
One of the most common reasons people feel they need to keep their anxiety is that they believe it keeps them safe. They worry that without it, they might miss important dangers or become careless.
But let’s consider this: When you cross the road, do you panic? Most of us don’t. Instead, we engage in a state of relaxed alertness. We glance both ways, assess the situation, and move forward when it’s safe. This is a potentially dangerous situation, yet we handle it with calm awareness rather than overwhelming anxiety. Life is full of moments like this.
Anxiety doesn’t have to be in the driver’s seat at all times. Instead, we can trust that if real danger arises, our natural alarm system will kick in when it’s needed—without us living in a constant state of tension.
Addressing Other Internal Objections
There are other reasons why people may hold onto anxiety, including:
Belief that it helps them stay productive – Some feel that without anxiety, they would become complacent or unmotivated.
Fear of the unknown – Anxiety might be unpleasant, but it’s familiar. Letting it go can feel like stepping into uncertainty.
A sense of identity – For some, anxiety has been a long-standing part of their experience, and they struggle to imagine life without it.
Each of these concerns needs to be acknowledged and addressed before meaningful change can take place. By reassuring the mind that safety and awareness do not require constant anxiety, we create space for a calmer, more balanced way of being.
If you find yourself hesitant to let go of anxiety, consider this: What if you could still be alert, prepared, and responsive—without carrying that constant weight? The goal isn’t to be indifferent to life’s challenges but to approach them with clarity and ease, knowing that your natural instincts will rise to the occasion when needed.
Practical Takeaway: A Simple Exercise to Shift Your Relationship with Anxiety
The next time you feel anxiety creeping in, try this simple exercise:
Pause and acknowledge it. Instead of fighting it, take a moment to recognize that your mind is trying to protect you.
Ask yourself: Is this a real danger or a familiar habit? If there is no immediate threat, remind yourself that relaxed alertness is enough. Realise that you are merely experiencing physical sensations in your body and nothing more.
Breathe deeply. Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, and exhale for six. This helps signal to your brain that you are safe.
Move forward with intention. Trust that your instincts will activate when needed, without anxiety leading the way.
Ready for Lasting Change?
If you’d like to experience deeper, long-lasting relief from anxiety, I’d love to help. Get in touch to explore how we can work together for meaningful transformation.
Change becomes far more lasting when we work with the mind rather than against it. When all parts of us are on board, real transformation happens.
